Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That We Can’t Excuse

Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That We Can’t Excuse

A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the contestants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name grounds a female might opt to be with a chubby or fat man.”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds associated with contestants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister did share that is n’t video clip on the Facebook page to garner laughs from her family and friends. It absolutely was just the opposite: my sis had been furious at the round’s subject additionally the responses offered. My cousin had written:

“This actually bothers me personally! For this reason people think you need to be skinny/fit become gorgeous, to be desired, to be loved, and also to deserve anything…this is never OK!”

My sister tagged me in this article once you understand my history in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat masculine person), once you understand I would personally concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot associated with the Family Feud game board aided by the six most widely used responses: “Fatty got money” (3out of 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a lot of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat males — and relationships.

Nevertheless, calling away myths that are fatphobic demonstrably maybe not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat figures to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s undergo each one of the top six many answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to guys of size.

“Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable With Their Cash or Energy

The misconception: the reality that this misconception is considered the most popular for the six offered responses — 3of the 100 individuals initially surveyed offered this or perhaps a similarly-worded solution — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether or not it is in movies, politics, or popular tradition brazzers tv.

In case a classically appealing individual of every gender is by using a fat guy, the overall presumption is this fat guy really needs cash or some form of energy. Why else would a person who could presumably get with anyone they wanted decide to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?

This type of idea is incredibly damaging for a complete large amount of fat guys, putting all of their value as individuals to the cash or energy they might or might not have.

More Radical Reads: going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person when you look at the picture

The reality: While you can find, needless to say, many people whom just look for relationships for cash or energy, the fact is that frequently, individuals will choose to be with a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is a lot less frequently placed on thin or “fit” males, unless of program see your face is famous to possess cash or energy. However it’s much easier for folks to know two thin or usually appealing people being together because they’re drawn to one another than each time a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become by having a fat guy for any other less shallow reasons.

“She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals

The misconception: with this specific myth, we come across just how individuals make an effort to simply simply take people’s that are away fat. It shows that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether it’s simply because they just find other fat individuals attractive or that is all they could “get”, within the many brutal of terms.

Slipped into this misconception is a relevant fatphobic misconception: that most fat individuals love for eating plenty of meals, and all people who like to eat food are fat.

The reality: place clearly, the presumption that fat people will just look for relationships along with other fat individuals is false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — may be and sometimes are interested in a wide number of individuals of most size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat people has reached ab muscles least ignorant, if you don’t entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

And also as for the basic proven fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.

“She’ll Look Better”: Fat Males Are Ugly

The misconception: All fat males, in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they might ever have. Such men’s lovers would just utilize them to look more desirable in contrast. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship by having a man that is fat they’re actually attracted to him. Fat individuals are just tools to presumably make their non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The reality: in the same way some individuals might pursue a fat guy for cash or energy, many people might just pursue fat guys to appear more desirable to other people. In fact, though, this is apparently less frequent than this answer might have us think.

I’ll keep saying the purpose, even when I seem like a broken record: many individuals really find fat men appealing!

“She’s In Love”

It was the sole answer that is truly mocking-free in the most notable responses from the board. That by itself is illustrative for the fatphobia that is entrenched display into the remaining portion of the responses. In addition it is available in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 people surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the clear answer written by just nine individuals.

Exactly what are fat males viewing likely to think of their bodies and their well worth as humans?

He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse

The misconception: this will be among those “positive stereotypes” many of us attempt to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are trendy and confident.”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, although not much else regarding the “positive” part of stereotyping. As proof of this, among the game show participants offered a solution that wound up maybe not being from the board: that a lady would date a man that is fat he was great at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if it was the absolute most crazy response in the whole world, aided by the other participants as well as the market laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat men can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The facts: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is they automatically alienate anybody who does not remain in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anybody who desires to be viewed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Truly the only quality that is redeeming tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, rather than also 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy bears. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly,” it is harmful in order for them to see this as their only good trait.

Further, just just what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse is normally entirely subjective and located in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat guys might be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.

“He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Like To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they usually have inside their present relationship. To put it differently, they realize that no body else may wish to be using them.

The reality: To place it bluntly, it is directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.

As damning as it can be to acknowledge, fat men are in the same way likely as virtually any guys to cheat on the lovers. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly unattractive, they would be given by no one the opportunity to cheat to their lovers, which, once again, can be drastically wrong to assume.

As with every fables and stereotypes about a small grouping of individuals, these five study responses on Family Feud reveal the blatant human body terrorism fat guys are afflicted by inside our tradition.

Despite just exactly what these urban myths may have you think, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and attractive to numerous other individuals. This truth should be so hard n’t to assume, nevertheless the undeniable fact that it absolutely was addressed as such for a tv program illustrates how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded culture.

While you’re watching this episode angered and disturbed me, it is a reminder we have actually considerable strive to do in order to achieve any kind of across-the-board quantities of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we manage to make these urban myths and any perceptions that are negative to them obsoleted modes of idea in the place of mainly accepted norms.

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